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‹ View all articles 19th June 2014

Why you should stop saying sorry!

Nerves and Confidence

What is it that makes us apologize when we speak? Why being unsure of ourselves and nervous, of course. We think we're being a nuisance or "bothering" folks if we don't have our act completely together. That's an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself.

Speak perfectly. Don't you dare make a mistake. Your audience will despise you and your family will disown you if you mess this speech up. You'll be fired and all your co-workers will laugh behind your back if you so much as blink the wrong way!

It's all about fear. Constantly apologizing for your presentation in ANY way/shape/form hurts your credibility. It gives your audience a reason to disregard you and your message. If you continue to say "sorry" then that is what you will leave with your audience... the "sorry" speaker.

STOP SAYING SORRY! 

Presentation anxiety is totally normal. But your audience doesn't have to know that! 

What we call ‘fear’ is just adrenaline that’s being judged. Being fearLESS is not about less fear as such, but about changing the way you judge the adrenaline rush, from negative anticipation into positive anticipation. The idea is to channel that energy into your presentation and create a genuine passion to which an audience will respond.

Fearless public speaking, more than any other communication method known, has the capacity to change people on a profound level.

By simply understanding the common symptoms of public speaking fear, you can identify that they are completely natural. You don’t need to cause yourself extra anxiety because you’re feeling anxious. You don’t need to fear being afraid! Truly almost every person who speaks in public experiences some presentation anxiety before taking the stage, even professional speakers. What the seemingly confident and polished speakers have accomplished is expressing their fear in a different way. They’ve given up the nightmare.

Actually what your audience is really interested in is what you have to say and what you have to give them as an audience member. Remember that you’re inside your body and you feel all of those weird nerves all of those weird things inside. But the audience sees you from the outside and more than anything they see the content and quality of your speaking and isn’t so much affected by your nerves or if you're blushing or if a slide didn't work right.

Find your inner confidence

Collect and internalize all the data that supports your ability to do a good job, no matter what happens. For example:

  • Your experience on the subject matter, matters most. What is it that YOU have inside that will not disappear, no matter what happens during your speech?
  • Your ability to succeed. Remind yourself of all the times you’ve been successful, be it public speaking or a success in another area that involves communication. Remember that even when things did go wrong i the past, at the very center of your being is someone who can – and does – succeed.
  • Remember that you DO shine. Think of when you’re most comfortable. When you’re around friends think of how fun, engaging, interesting, and entertaining you are (otherwise they wouldn’t be your friends right? Right. ). This is who you are, at your very core, no matter how well your talk does or doesn’t go.

Remember that your audience doesn't really care that you're nervous. They care about what you're saying and how it will impact them. Keep the focus on your message and you'll find there is no need to apologize... ever. So stop saying sorry already! Eliminate the word from your speaker's toolkit right now. Your audience will thank you for it!

Wondering if there are more ways to increase your communication confidence?  You betcha! If you're eager to become a more inspiring speaker, Ginger has a multitude of courses just right for you! From freebies to e-courses, books to workshops, jump in to Ginger. Click here for a full list of Ginger courses and resources.

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